The World’s Most Valuable Vacuum Won’t Even Clean Your Home

The World’s Most Valuable Vacuum Won’t Even Clean Your Home

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The most my wife and I have ever paid for a vacuum cleaner is $142.99. We got it from Target. It’s a Bissell. A Bissell CleanView, to be specific, with “OnePass” technology, a turbo brush and five deep-cleaning settings.

I’ve never actually used the turbo brush, but you can tell by looking at that bad-boy accessory it’s all business. Dust bunnies don’t stand a chance. Not that we have dust bunnies, mind you, because we don’t. I’m sure they Peter Cottontail-ed their way out the door when the turbo brush showed up.

The best thing about of our Bissell, besides the sense of cleaning confidence it inspires with its powerful, multi-cyclonic system, is the price. At $142.99, it’s a bargain, especially when compared to Jeff Koons’ vacuum, which someone recently paid $4.4 million for at Sotheby’s.

Jeff Koons’ vacuum cleaner art — “New Hoover Convertibles, New Shelton Wet/Dry 10 Gallon Doubledecker” — sold for $4.4 million at Sotheby’s. 

Now granted, $4.4 million does seem a bit pricey for a vacuum. To be fair, Koons’ vacuum is “Art.” Ours is not. Our vacuum does not make a statement about the world we live in, nor is it groundbreaking. It does not “explore the way our desires and fantasies are manifested in everyday objects” as Koons’ art claims to do.

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